written April 15, 2011
Four years ago, one naïve small town girl who was just seemingly floating through her present life back then got lucky and managed to enter the premier university of her country. She had no clear vision of what kind of future she wants for herself, and not even in her wildest childhood dreams did it occur to her that she would one day be studying in this university. But then, fate with all its mysteries surprised her and took her from the stagnant environment, and instead, injected her to a very dynamic environment.
Well, actually, her world has always been dynamic – only this time, she allowed herself to see this.
She barely knew the world back then – she was 16 years of age, cowardly, and running away from the nightmares that was her present at that time. For the sake of change, and for the sake of breaking free – she traveled miles. She was extremely afraid – partly because of her inexperience, and partly because she didn’t know what is in store for her in a completely strange place. She prepared herself for the worst, including the thought that she would be ostracized by a community which she is yet about to meet. Because she was different.
However, as cowardly as she was back then, and as afraid as she was – she tried to go on with it. Hence, she entered a university which was miles and miles away from her home town. A university she deemed so high that she didn’t even see herself entering it. But she did, and the series of changes happened in her life.
It was four years – only four years, yet all sorts of changes happened in every aspect of her life. She grew up, she started to open her eyes to the world, saw how unfair the world is, she was hurt several times, she became tired, she, she was brought several times at the brink of giving it all up. But time and again – although it was so much difficult, she tried to keep moving forward. It wasn’t an easy feat.
But amidst and in spite of everything, she considers herself very lucky. And she would like to embrace everything involved in her life – and she would like to embrace whatever that would present itself in front of her. Good or bad. Painful or otherwise.
She is so grateful that God led her in this university. A university that is so diverse and so much respecting of everyone’s individuality. That way, she was given the chance to be her – and the university accepted her as she was/is. She was salvaged from experiencing discrimination and bigotry which she much loathed. With that, she was eternally grateful for all the people that she met as she journeyed through her college years in the University of the Philippines.
To the professors, she thanks them with all her heart. She feels thanking them with that wouldn’t suffice. She thanks them for the inspiration, for the knowledge, for sharing indispensable lessons that couldn’t just be learned within the confines of the university, but more importantly, beyond them. She thanks them for the principles that they knowingly or unknowingly instilled in her – which she would carry as she continues moving forward to the next journeys of her life. She thanks them for the passion, for the love that they have for the country, for the idealism, for the encouragements, for the extreme patience, for selflessly presenting parts of who they are to her, and her fellow students.
To the strangers that became her great friends – she couldn’t thank you enough. Her life away from her family has been bearable for the last four years because you were there. You were there to distract her from her anxieties – and to keep her focused at times when she need to. She would like these people to know that she really, really, really, really loves you. And the thought that she might not be able to share things with you instigates her deepest angst. However, she knows that she and you should continue moving forward, chasing dreams, to be able to become the persons that each of you (and her) would like to become. This is not the end. Although each of you are going forth to different and separate paths, she knows that it won’t necessarily entail an end to the wonderful bonds she has formed with each of you. We have been through so much – so, so much together. Which is why graduation is so much bittersweet for her. Let’s continue walking forward to a brighter future – a future where you and her will be able to translate your dreams into realities – where you and her would be able to make impact in different people’s lives – where you and her would be able to make better changes. In God’s will.
To her parents – she owes so much of what she is and what she has to you. She thanks you with everything she has for supporting her throughout her journey in pursuing tertiary education. She knows it wasn’t easy for both of them. They’ve sacrificed a lot just to provide her with a good life (away from them). They’ve endured pain, hardships – things that she perhaps doesn’t know enough. For that, she would like to let you know that she is very, very, very, extremely thankful for the both of you. She doesn’t know how she could repay you – to make even with the things that you’ve given up for her sake. And she would like to apologize to you. She’s sorry if she has demanded more than what you could possibly provide. She’s sorry with all her heart. And she’s hoping that one day, one day… she might be able to return even a portion of what you’ve given her. The culmination of things that have happened in the past four years, she would like to share it with you. This was for you.
To God who is her Everything – she is eternally grateful, and eternally remorseful for not having to fulfill her duties as a servant of God at all times. But she thanks Him so much – for everything – as in everything that He involved in her life. She’s still so much lacking – but she prays that she could become a better person for Him. To God, who served as her sole inspiration when nothing else can. The thought that He has always been there never left her to feel alone – although she was living her life away from her family.
She thanks God for letting her experience what she has experienced throughout her life – for teaching her lessons – and for allowing her to see the world with her own eyes – little by little – and for helping her along the way.
It hasn’t been easy. The sleepless nights, the hunger, the pushing of one’s own limit – everything. And it is so relieving, fulfilling – yet unfathomably painful to have arrived here – FINALLY. After everything, she has finally made it.
As she stands at the portal of her next journey, she would carry what she has accumulated in the past to this day. In her continuing pursuit of her dreams, she would like to carry with her things that she has acquired. Graduating from the College of Public Health – her college is “neither a beginning nor an end” as one speaker said.
This is just a continuous walking to that destination which she is aspiring to arrive to.
She thanks everything – and everyone. Thank you for being part of her life.
To her future college: College of Medicine, she knows her journey with you would be harder, but she is looking forward to seeing you.
